Hospitality customs

Hospitality is an essential component of interpersonal relationships and an indispensable aspect of everyday life. Since ancient times, Hongtong has been known as… “Land of propriety and etiquette,” the people of this county “shun extravagance, devote themselves to agriculture, cultivate poetry and literature, and uphold ritual and courtesy” (as recorded in the Republic‑era Hongtong County Gazetteer), fostering a hospitality tradition marked by warmth, generosity, reverence, and sincerity. In everyday life, families practice frugality; when guests arrive, they spare no effort to offer a lavish feast. Should someone seek lodging under the cover of night—whether known or unknown—they are never asked for payment; rather, the host would endure hardship themselves, striving to make the visitor feel at ease. Whether skilled artisans or destitute wanderers, all who come to Hongtong in search of livelihood are welcomed with open arms. As a result, many outsiders have chosen to settle here, vividly reflecting the local populace’s adherence to ancient rites, their genuine hospitality, and their enduring virtue of gladly helping others. More than six centuries ago, the great migration—and especially the Yaxie kinship‑visiting custom, which has endured for over 4,700 years—has left an indelible mark on the collective consciousness, fostering a profound sense of kinship: “Every passerby is kin to me; all within the realm share blood ties.”

Waiting for the neighbor’s help

In every county, whether in urban or rural areas, whenever major events such as weddings, funerals, or the construction of a house arise, neighbors and community members eagerly lend a hand—what is commonly known as… “When one family is in trouble, the neighbors are uneasy.”

In the old days, during the busy farming season, neighbors would pool their resources: the Zhangs had livestock, the Lis had laborers, and the Wangs had farm tools—enough to get the harvest and planting done. They worked one household at a time, with whoever had work providing the meal; no one shirked or hesitated, and everyone helped each other in a spirit of natural harmony. The family hosting the meal would do its utmost to improve the fare. With the rural reforms and opening-up, the allocation of contracted land to individual households followed the same pattern. When weddings, funerals, marriages, or house‑building came along, local artisans and skilled craftsmen would show up on their own initiative, while neighbors took turns doing this or that, running errands and lending a hand. Though life was often hard for the host family, they would still buy fine cigarettes and tea, prepare rice, flour, oil, vegetables, steamed buns, and noodles, and set out several tables of food to entertain and thank the helping neighbors. Especially at major events like weddings and funerals, the hosts were either busy welcoming guests or mourning at the spirit‑house; all the practical arrangements were handled by a chief steward and the community at large, with the hosts rarely interfering. Under the steward’s coordination, a list of duties was posted, and the helping neighbors carried out their assigned tasks in an orderly, well‑organized manner.

After the reform and opening-up, the meals prepared by ordinary people to entertain neighbors who came to help became increasingly lavish. Whenever there was an important occasion, it was customary to make preparations. Banquets of “Liu Liu” standard or higher. At funerals, the musicians who participate in the “night‑time festivities” are especially lavishly entertained; even the “wind‑and‑drum players,” who in the past were relegated to standing outside the door, are now invited to the banquet table, where, after their fill of wine and food, they perform to their heart’s content.

When relatives and close friends arrive

The literature states: People from Shanxi. “He lived with the strictest frugality; except when entertaining guests, he never cooked fresh or indulged in rich dishes.” In the county—whether in urban or rural areas—whenever visitors arrived, they were always warmly welcomed and seen off. As for those who came unannounced, regardless of the reason, people adhered to the age‑old principle of “never turning away a guest at the door”: first inviting them inside, offering seats, presenting cigarettes, serving tea, and preparing a meal to entertain them. For frequent visitors, meals were usually quite simple—whatever was available was served, with the host accommodating the guest’s preferences. When distinguished guests arrived, or even if they were not particularly important but happened to be visiting during a festive season, the hospitality would typically be rather elaborate, with a spread of “four plates and eight bowls plus a hot pot.” Host and guest would sit together around the table, raising their cups in toast, chatting at length, and enjoying a harmonious, convivial atmosphere. The staple dish for entertaining guests was usually dumplings; making “torn pieces” (commonly called “torn lumps”) was strictly avoided, as the word “torn” was believed to imply “severing,” which in turn was thought to mean “breaking off relations.” On ordinary occasions, when an infrequent visitor dropped by, dumplings were invariably served; if circumstances allowed, a few stir‑fried dishes would accompany the meal. For relatives and friends who visited often, the reception was more informal: egg noodles, soft‑flour steamed buns, or noodle soup were typically offered. During the farming off‑season, a couple of stir‑fried side dishes might also be added to the meal. If two hot dishes were prepared, and the visit was in aid of some work, fried pancakes with rice porridge were often served, along with four additional stir‑fried dishes to go with the meal.

Son-in-law for “Distinguished guests”—especially the new son-in-law—are regarded as top-tier visitors and, like the in-laws and the bride’s parents, are collectively referred to as “honored guests.” On the son-in-law’s first visit after the wedding, the father-in-law and mother-in-law promptly prepare dishes and meat, tidy up both inside and outside the courtyard, hire a chef to oversee the cooking, and enlist neighbors to help make dumplings, all in order to host a festive banquet. Thereafter, the son-in-law becomes a close member of the family; visits and interactions are more informal, with hospitality not requiring elaborate formalities.

When a daughter and her husband visit their in-laws together, the son-in-law is generally not allowed to stay at his wife’s parents’ home, in order to avoid… The taboo against a son-in-law stepping onto the heated bed, which is said to bring ruin to the household and loss of life.

When entertaining relatives and close friends, follow the customary seating arrangement: elders take the seat of honor, while younger guests sit below. When serving, present wine before dishes; the host should first offer a toast to the guests, with other companions following in turn—never reverse this order. Dishes on the table are to be eaten layer by layer; do not stir or mix haphazardly. Do not rise to reach for food that is far away. Until the meal is concluded, the host remains at the table and sees the guests through to the end. If an urgent matter arises, the host must bow respectfully to apologize to those seated at the table. One may depart only after saying “I must take my leave”; it is considered improper to leave without bidding farewell. When a guest takes his leave, those who are nearby see him off to the courtyard, while those farther away accompany him to the edge of the village.

Awaiting the Venerable Master and Clan Chief

“Once a teacher, always a father”—respecting teachers and elders has long been one of the cherished traditional virtues of the common people. For thousands of years, educators have enjoyed widespread respect and affection. In earlier times, during every festival, families—rich or poor—would present their teacher with a gift. Whenever there was an occasion in a household, the teacher would invariably be invited as a most honored guest. When a teacher returned home to visit relatives, the school’s administrative committee would dispatch someone to escort him home on a donkey. After the New Year and the start of the new term, students’ parents would invite the teacher to their homes for a meal, serving four dishes and a pot of wine, accompanied by dumplings. When there were many students, the teacher need not cook at all during the first month of the lunar year.

The people of Hongtong are martial‑oriented, and seeking a master to learn from is a major social custom. “Hongtong Tongbei Quan” is a distinctive martial art renowned both at home and abroad. It seamlessly integrates offense and defense, offering a full repertoire of bare‑handed forms and weapon routines. Practitioners cultivate the external aspects—tendons, bones, and skin—while nurturing the internal—essence, qi, and spirit—making it an essential discipline for strengthening the body and defending against opponents. Since its rise in the mid‑Qing period, it has enjoyed widespread popularity. Many martial masters were hired by merchants as escorts or by affluent households as instructors to safeguard their homes and estates. During the agricultural off‑season, “boxing schools” sprang up across the land, bustling with eager students. To enter the art, one must first be recommended by a fellow disciple, present a “letter of acceptance from the master,” and host a banquet to honor the school’s teachers and senior practitioners. The school’s rules are exceedingly strict: even the slightest lapse in moral conduct can result in expulsion.

Those who study claywork, carpentry, blacksmithing, and other crafts must observe the guild’s regulations by performing the apprenticeship ceremony and hosting a banquet to honor their master’s senior colleagues. When the master grows old and loses the ability to work, and has no children or grandchildren to rely on, the apprentice is expected to take responsibility for supporting the master and to present gifts to show respect on festivals and special occasions.

In a family, there is always a clan leader who ranks according to seniority and age; this person is commonly referred to as… “The Elder.” In former times, the elder held a distinguished position within the clan; whether dealing with matters of clan affairs or settling family disputes, all depended on their guidance and arbitration. Whenever a family matter required the elder’s intervention, a banquet would invariably be hosted in their honor. The feast typically featured four dishes and eight bowls, accompanied by a soup‑noodle course (seasoned to perfection) and round steamed buns, symbolizing harmony among neighbors and unity among the eight households—thus ensuring that conflicts were resolved amicably and completely. At significant family events such as weddings or funerals, the elder was always invited to preside, leading rites like incense offering and memorial ceremonies. During banquets, the elder occupied the place of honor, seated at the head of the table.